Tip 7 - And the new washing machine

Tip 7 - Always consider carefully the amount of chocolate one wishes to purchase small children at Easter time.

Well, the new machine has arrived! So I have spent many happy hours loading and unloading the thing since the nice man from online electrical retailer (which will remain nameless) delivered the thing at 8.15am yesterday morning.

Expecting, as I was, to wait in all day for said machine and it not to arrive until 5 minuites before last delivery time ie 5.55pm, when the nice man from online retailer phoned at 7.45am to say he would be here within the half hour I was surprised to say the least. Totally unprepared would certainly be an expression, still wearing pajama's and reading lovely historical novel whilst sipping tea in bed. Of course, leapt out of bed post haste, threw on clothes and readied myself for impending delivery.

Oh, the joy of getting through the washing pile. I know they say that little things please little minds, but this is bordering on the ridiculous! Too see the bottom of my washing basket by tomorrow evening would be just heaven! The only problem is that the machine has so many buttons it looks like something that has been delivered by NASA and I really have not got time to read the huge instruction booklet that comes with. Oh well, keep pressing buttons until it makes a washing type noise, that would do it for me.

The new machine has, of course, inspired hobbits to parade around the house singing, at the top of their voices 'Washing machines live longer with Calgon!' which does make me somewhat concerned that they are watching too much tv these days.

Anyway, Easter approaches complete with regulation over consumption of chocolate and compulsary nausea towards the end of the day. The case in point would be my lovely friend who has, without exception, given up chocolate, bread, cake and anything that is considered any fun in the world for lent. (Hobbits belive she is truly mad!!!) I am convinced that by about 10am on Sunday morning she will have received from the Easter Bunny EC chocolate mountain and will be happily trawling her way through it, can't wait to join her! I might even invite her round to enjoy a chocolate fountain hour or two with large spoons! Chocolate induced vomiting, here I come.

Tip 6 - And the necessity to buy plasters

Tip 6 - Make sure you buy lots of plasters at the beginning of school holidays

For once I took my own advise and popped into nearest superdrug and stocked up. Knowing as I do that school holidays usually involve lots of glue, paint, cardboard and scissors I thought, this time, that I would take the sensible option and prepare for minor disaster.

Disaster this holidays is taking the form of a Lancaster Bomber airfix kit which granny 'kindly' bought hobbits last Christmas. How difficult could it be I thought? Silly me! I am now sat surrounded by millions (and I really am not exaggerating) pieces of grey plastic ranging from the small to the microscopic all requiring industrial strength glue and extremely steady hands. Plasters become a necessity when detaching said microscopic grey pieces of plastic from the bizarrely shaped frames in which they arrive. Not only are all the pieces not in numerical order (designed by a man no doubt!) but they need precision cutting with extremely sharp scissors.

Ah ha! Both medium hobbit and myself are now sporting plaster-covered fingertips as if starting a new craze. I imagine by the end of the holidays, the craze might have caught on as hobbits friends catch the 'I need to make something creative' bug which is the bain of any mummies life at this time of year. 'Yes of course you can paint an egg/attach bizarrely coloured feathers to everything/make chick shaped chocolates/cut out anything remotely Easter related from magazines and make strange and surreal collage' (delete as appropriate).

That said, we had a lovely weekend visiting hobbit relations. Did a bit of shopping (medium hobbit just developing his own taste in clothes but does need some guidance to avoid hideous hoodies which seem to be all the rage), various hobbits went to watch rugby match, went to a 40th birthday party and danced like a loony with 15 year old niece wishing I was still her age, and spent a sunny Sunday reading newspapers in the garden before returning home to ever increasing washing pile.

New washing machine due to arrive tomorrow so, sadly, am looking forward to loading and unloading washing for the entire day, assuming of course that it does arrive at allotted time! Will wait to see before declaring state of washing induced euphoria.

Tip 4 - And the need for a new washing machine

Tip 4 - Think carefully before committing to collect 6 children from school

Which is obviously something I forgot to do today. Usually it would be no problem, I have a theory that if you have 1 - 2 kids already, having 5 - 6 isn't really any different. However, in this season of springtime exuberance when the kids decide it is timely to exersise their 'I want to kill you!!' tendancies on each other, adding extra friends on both sides of world war three is not a wise move.

Small/Medium hobbits therefore in full battle mode were told not to get wet whilst playing outside on the 'green' which is a small patch of park with a stream running through it. Of course, this is a red rag to a bull and I should be thoroughly chastised for even attempting to bother. Needless to say, hobbits and assorted clan returned soaked through, necessitating yet another change of clothes.

Now I am usually a fairly chilled out mummy, not too worried about a bit of mud and mess, but following on from visit from friendly washing machine repair man when he proclaimed the machine to be beyond ecomonic repair (I do hate these P.C. terms, I would have said screwed personally!), hobbits covered in sludge, dog poo and grass does not fill me with the joys of spring.

Slowly but surely, assorted clan of children have returned to their own homes allowing me to reclaim some of my comfort zone and, as I write, I am waiting for friendly neighbour to pick up small hobbit and his friend for cubs at which point I can breath a sigh of relief and get on with ordering myself a new washing machine.

Meantime, my amazing friend across the road, also known as Wishy Washy, is assisting with necessary occasional baskets of washing in a token gesture effort to avoid poor, deprived children (and hubbie hobbit of course) from having to wear the same pair of pants two days running.

Roll on next tuesday when new machine will arrive and smell in the hobbitt household will dramatically improve!